Daring to…Let Go

This isn’t exactly the follow-up blog I wanted to post.  I prefer that it would have been another motivational and positive, “Yes you can do it” moment with a personal story or two.  It IS about Daring to…let go.  There is nothing fun about the subject.  It is quite painful and that is why I want to share my struggles with you.  Life challenges happen to everyone.

There are two relationships in my life where I have to take a step back and simply love someone regardless of circumstances.  One relationship I have struggled with the past few months and I have finally come to the conclusion that I am not helping this person but enabling them.  It began as an offer to help him get back on his feet.  The first year in helping this person, there was real progress being made and I was so proud of him.  I wanted so badly for him to simply succeed in life and be happy.  That’s not a bad wish to have.  The problem is that he has problems that I will never be able to fix.  No matter how badly I want him to be whole and healthy, it will not happen without his consent and effort.  My help has allowed his bills to be paid on time but it has not changed the drug or alcohol problem.  Mom told me going into this situation two years ago that it was not a good idea.  But I had to give it a try.  What if my involvement created a change in him?  Talk about delusion!  Where did I derail?  It started with the best of intentions.  Along the way though, I tied my ego to the outcome of the situation.  If he failed, I failed.  I wasn’t going to give up that easy.  It is time to put my ego aside and simply love him for all that he is, addictions and all.  For me, it means letting go of the outcome and allowing him his own choices.  I’m not going to tell you that I am at peace with my decision because I am still struggling.  I do know this is the best I can do at this time.

When children are little they step on your toes, when they grow up they step on your heart.

The second relationship involves a child.  Sometimes you have to let go, loosen the reigns, for them to see what they have.  It has frustrated me to put so much energy into this child only for them to say, “You don’t want me around”.  I suppose that all the school and sporting events, doctor and orthodontist visits that I have attended over the years mean that I don’t care.  It feels like a big slap in the face.  However that is their reality and there is nothing that I can do to change that.  I have to honor their feelings as painful as it is.  It’s messy, uncomfortable and unpredictable…it’s life.  My hope is that one day, this beautiful child will understand the love that I have for them.  Understand and accept.  Until then I have to put my big girl panties on and move forward…daring to let go.

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6 thoughts on “Daring to…Let Go

  1. Dina, my heart goes out to you, having dealt with a lot of the same issues you are dealing with. You have a lot of courage. It takes a strong person to admit that you tied your ego to someone else’s outcome. You also have a lot of insight, so refocus, let go, put one foot in front of the other, and know that you are not alone in your journey. Weeping endures for the night, but joy follows in the morning! Read one of my goofy bird stories…….Hugs and love to you.

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  2. Thank you Arlene. It was a tough night. Didn’t sleep much but I am in better spirits today and I know that I have to take my own advice and let go of the outcome. I am thankful for everyone who follows my blog. I hope that everyone realizes that I am living my life as authentic as I can. To only represent the good stuff would be a disservice to those that read this blog. I will be reading a double dose of your blog this evening. Thanks for the love ♥

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  3. You have honorably done something most people have a hard time doing. Bravo! I use to toss something in my head. If there are Angels and they are helping us, but there is a limit to their helping us since we are in flesh and they are not. How do they deal with the times when they too have to let us do what we are so “Strong Willed” to do? For I know, my will can be out of control and I can just imagine my Angel just cringing and saying “Don’t Do it!” and I do anyway. I think my Angel would need a lot of compassion, patience and tough love. The kind of tough love that would allow me to learn on my own, even if it means going against everything my Angel has told me and has helped me in the past. I believe there comes a time when my Angel will just wait till it’s all said and done. Hug what’s left of me and we keep on going on. Wonderful read as always Dina! Namaste :o)

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  4. Wow, that sounds like some extremely tough stuff, but I do applaud your honesty. I know I’ve been guilty of tying my ego to someone else’s outcome before, sometimes over and over and over again, you’d think I’d learn. But it gets sticky when love is involved, doesn’t it? I don’t pretend that I know the answers anymore, but I do know that you are a strong spirit and that you will come through whatever comes your way. I’ve got some time next week if you want to hang out and talk, or do something else, just let me know.
    Hugs….

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  5. “If one does not understand how the fire was set on, one will burn oneself, because one does not know the root of fire.
    If one does not understand the water, one does not know anything.
    If one does not understand how the wind that is blowing was born, one will be blown away.
    If one who does not understand how his body was born, one will perish with it.
    The one who does not understand how he came, will not understand how will leave…”

    Gassho

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  6. Dina,
    What an important post. You’re right, this is reality. I appreicate that you said, I wanted to write something positive, and this is what came out…but it’s real. Everything’s not rainbows and ponies all the time! HA! How boring would that be anyway…thanks for sharing this – I know so many people that are experiencing the “breaking apart” right now, the rough stuff. You have to experience the darkness to truely appreciate the dawn. May your darkness be short my friend. 🙂 Much love on this lovely friday morning!

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