Has Anyone Seen My Sense of Humor???

My morning started abruptly with a phone call from a certain sibling who will remain anonymous due to the fact that the evidence would most certainly incriminate him.  I must think this one through because some points are well…pointless.

Let’s talk about generational curses for a minute because that’s where this topic is going (for those so inclined, you can click off this blog before it gets messy).

For as long as I can remember my family has suffered from alcohol and drug induced tragedies, illnesses and even death.  You would think after one or two experiences we would figure out that alcohol (and drugs) just doesn’t mix well with the family genetics.  But that just isn’t the case.  Unfortunately, the family welcomed the liquid elixir and invited it to all of the family gatherings.  For those family members who were just not satisfied with the liquid stuff, they added a new adventure in drug altered states.  Our get togethers were extemely interesting and sometimes outright funny, although I am not advocating drinking to have a good time.  That’s just the way it was.   There were far too few funny times compared to the tragedies that were associated with the disease of alcoholism.

“Alcohol is no respecter of persons”  ~ Mom 

I have watched my brother fight many addictions and schizophrenia as an added bonus.  I am certain that when he was in the heaven’s and choosing his life, he said, “Give me a dose of this and this and this…I can do this, bring it on!”.  But when he came down to earth and found himself in a body, the scenario in Heaven just didn’t play out as he expected.  The elixir demons beckoned his name at an early age and he was hooked.  Self medication would be my best guess.  I don’t claim to understand schizophrenia but I feel compassion for the torture that he experienced.  The cycle of depression and alcohol has been a major family theme.  My mom and I both have found ourselves in situations where we have had to be the strong ones.  She as a mother and I as a sister.  Sadly, my brother isn’t the only one with a problem.  My mom is surrounded by lost souls who have forgotten their worth.  She sees the self-imposed purgatory that our loved ones put themselves through.  Ah, if only we could pull them out of the mire that they have jumped into.  But even if we pulled them out, cleaned them up and put them in a different environment, they would still be the same person with different surroundings.

“Wherever you go, there you are”

It is easy to go to an energy of despair but that is not my purpose nor is it mom’s purpose in life.  It is up to us to stop the cycle by setting our boundaries both with family and alcohol.  As I was talking to my mom this morning (she too got a lovely call bright and early this morning from brother), she used her famous motto, “It is what it is”.  God I LOVE that statement.  It’s like the 12 Step Serenity prayer…

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

With that said, it is time to find my humor and get on with life.  Like mom says, “We’ll get through this…what choice do we have?”

This is dedicated to my brother, for all that he teaches me and for the compassion that I am learning:

Oh Brother, Brother by Carole King

Oh, brother, brother, brother
I know you’ve been layin back
a long time
But I love you like no other
Oh, brother of mine
I’ve been watching everything you do
And I’ve been wishing only good for you
All you’ve got to do is just want it to
And it’s gonna – it’s gonna come to you

Oh, brother, brother, brother
I know you’ve been hangin’ on
a long time
But I love you like no other
Oh, brother of mine

You have always been so good to me
And though you didn’t always talk to me
There wasn’t much my lovin’ eyes
could not see
and I don’t believe you need
all your misery

Oh, brother, brother, brother
I know you’ve been hangin’ on
a long time
You know I love you like no other
Oh, brother, brother, brother
Talkin’ about you, brother                 

 

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